and i've finally got over it and fall in love with you. being in a relationship with your crush.... thats just wonderful. you know how hard it is to have your crush having the same feelings like you do? right, it was... magical at that point of time. being able to be on someone's arms make me feel secured and protected again..
i've loved every bits and pieces of you, i adore your bad habits and weaknesses. i accepted you wholeheartedly, just like how you accepted me. i envy you the most; you're so motivated unlike me.. but you made me turn into such a strong girl.. you're the pillar of my strength when i failed my exams and you passed. you encouraged me to try harder, and beyond my best.. i envied you.
as i run my fingers through your hair and staring deeply into your eyes with that genuine smile of yours; i knew we will last until forever. smelling you have always been my favourite habit, i just dont know, you're not a fan of perfumes and you dont use one.. but it's just my favourite smell. and most of all, you've the most sincere smile. it kills me a little that you have such a perfect teeth but thats what so special of you..
only then, i found out you cheated on me. i dont know where i went wrong because all i did was to love you as much as i could. be there for you and supporting whatever you're doing. i had to find the truth by myself, which then my heart sank. i wanted to give up, but i just can't.. i'm just too madly in love and it hurts. i dont want to share you with anybody.. i just want you to myself.. and i still have no idea why.. you did that to me.. i didnt stop here. i forgive my ego so that i can forgive you, and be with you again. since you promised, you promised thats the first and the last.. and i'm still the same girl you loved since day one. i've never changed. but again, i was wrong. you did it again and again, and i still forgive you.
until one fine day, i told to myself "i can't do this", and i turn coldhearted towards you. i talked to your biggest enemy, i met him, slack. but there's a fine line between us. i thought you would fight for me the way i fight for you, and still i got let down. you were prepared to move on and you were prepared for me to leave you. at this point, i can feel my heart shatters to pieces. it was a very depressed relationship. i gave you my everything, but why? just why? am i boring? or someone else is just more better than me?
i swear, as i'm typing this out, the thought of us being 'over' really kills me a lot.. but i cant bare the pain anymore. i can't.
if you're reading this; i just want to thank you for everything. no words can describe how appreciative i am towards you. thank you for the bitter sweet memories and for loving me. thank you for saving me when i'm on my knees and thank you for being the first guy to give me flowers. i wont forget every single thing you've done for me just to make me smile. you've the sweetest smile and please don't change it. be with someone that can take care of you and love you without fail. and since tomorrow is 24, its the best time for me to be away from you.. i know moving on is hard, but please do your best. i'll be happy, i promise. its gonna be hard because i'm going to miss you alot. but i promise, i will move on. just so you know, this feelings have never stopped for you.. i wish you the best of all this world could give. dont stop pursuing your dreams, you've worked so hard.. dont give it up just like that.
and to whoever my replacement; please, just please take good care of him. he is a little stubborn but just dont stop convincing okay? please make sure he eats and please heal the scars on his wrist.. please dont be ashamed to love a guy with scars.. please motivate him and dont call him useless or stupid. please make sure he dont slack a lot and make sure he sleeps well, because if he dont, he will oversleep. trust me. and also make sure he's respectful to his parents and guardians. he's a little bit playful and clumsy, but please love him for who he is. dont be a gold digger because he's the type of guy who will spent his money on you, regardless. please show that you're appreciative of his efforts, or he will be sad. pamper him and shower him your love! he's very clingy! bring him to watch movies, surprise him with things he like and pamper him as much as you can. i promise you, he will love you so much if you take good care of his feelings okay? i'm not ready to give up my place but good things will always have their ends.
"wish i could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of me and you"
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